nekochan's musings [musings|clique|calendar]

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Well then. [08 May 2009|03:27pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

I haven't posted in almost a year. Uh, highlights?

Jon asked me to marry him on March 13. I of course said yes :D That's the biggest bit of news, ever, of course.

Still working the same shitty job, trying to claw my way either up or out, and being unsuccessful at both. The stress and stupidity of my workplace lends itself to me not wanting to deal with people and spiraling into fits of depression, mayhem and yearning for solitude, its a glorious cycle. :/

Anyway. The real reason for this post is because I guess no one (except Alicia, ty) saw or cared about the posting on facebook I made earlier this week, and I guess Jon didn't mention it to anyone while hanging out this week, so I'm posting here:

Tomorrow (Saturday, May 9). Dinner. Seven in the pm. Thai Spice. Yumyumyummy Thai food that makes your tummy happy.

Show up or not. If you don't know how to get there, ask. I don't know if we're doing anything after, it depends on you guys... I'll just say that I'm turning 30, I can't drink anymore (thanks, stupid diabetes diagnosis back in October), and don't really feel like there's much to celebrate. Meh.

...and now I get to go work on my night off. Brilliant.

5 critiques|criticise me

[22 Aug 2008|10:04pm]
Lactose-free ice cream (ty Breyers) + lactose-free milk (ty DairyEase) + frozen strawberries + blender = one fuckawesome milkshake that Jon, too, can have. !!!

WotLK beta = awesome. I have some great screenies, but haven't had much time to play. I would have played more if, say, the servers didn't go down more often than a two dollar hooker on half-price night, but w/e.

I want to know why I can't seem to find an apartment that doesn't leave us with wet floors. The last apt was because of, well, rain + no outside walls = wet floors. This time, we have a wet patch right by the kitchen because of either a cracked pan in the AC or a leaky hot water heater. The maintenance guy won't have a pan until Monday so we can figure out which is the issue. So Jon and I are sweltering because we don't want to turn on the AC too much because we don't want to worsen the issue. Gaaah. I want a house.

Was sick as fuck yesterday, with either a 24-hour stomach bug or flu or something. Explodies from both ends + cold sweat/chills + wanting to sleep for a day straight = not fun. Amazingly, after sleeping my life away yesterday (in between explodies), I feel great today. Did pork chops on the Griddler tonight, sooo good.

S'about it. Life's okay. :D
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Its like the Holy Grail of a gamer geek. Lost for years and dusty as fuck. [08 Aug 2008|06:28am]
[ mood | geeky ]

Jon and I are on a cleaning rampage, trying to get this apartment clean before his family shows up Sunday. In the midst of moving things around, I unearthed a folder with of my character sheets from college. This is doubly hilarious, given that last night Jenny and I were somewhat reminiscing about games from college. Jenny, I found my bounty hunter, complete with the picture Trevor drew of her! lololol. It was just fun flipping through this huge freaking stack of character sheets and being able to instantly recall every single game we ever did, all the random one-shots, the crazy Mage game with Cara's electric sheep... I miss those days a lot.

Then again, also in the folder I found a printout of an old email from an old, er, 'friend with benefits' that just induced many, many giggles. I don't even know why I printed it unless it was to share with someone else to laugh over.

I also found a menu for Pagliai's(!), the pizza place we ordered from every weekend when we were gaming. I miss their garlic bread so fucking much.

I think the best of all was finding the character sheets for the old Ranma-style RPG that Anne concocted. I really wish I still had the rulebook for that.

Other than that... let's break it down.
Work: I got a 48-cent/hour raise this year. Not bad, not great, especially not great when compared to what I should probably be making.

Gaming (MMO): Got into the Lich King beta. Jon and I are running around playing with death knights. I don't know if they're quite my playstyle but they -are- a lot of fun. I need to run around more with the rogue and the boomkin, but.. I got distracted by new-shiny.

Gaming (tabletop): Um. I want a real tabletop game, but I will be sating my desire by playing 4th ed online with a bunch of awesome people. I really, really like my character, and the story I made for her... and I like the people I'm playing with, and their characters, so this should be fun. And the best part, out of all of them, the only one I've ever played with before is Jenny, so I'm all excited and stuff. Fresh meat, mwahahahah. Er. Ahem.

Jon: I still love him, he's still putting up with me, I don't know how he does it.

My Hair: Driving me nuts, but not for the same reasons it was a couple months ago. Its getting too long and I need to cut it. I know, right?

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Anime babble. Or rather, obsessing. [13 Jul 2008|07:28am]
[ mood | cranky ]

The last week or so I spent (re-)watching Nana. I... can't express in words how awesome this series is, and I can't wait for the manga to be done so the second half can come out already.

Serious navelgazing. Gomen.Collapse )

Someone, please send help. Either direct me toward another series as good, or give me something fluffy and distracting.

... oh, and yeah, that's why I haven't been present on any of the MMO-age lately. That and I just feel burnt out on dealing with people. Watching/reading Nana and getting back into playing Lost Odyssey are good enough for me right now.

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[13 May 2008|06:24am]
I've come to terms with my hair. Shawna was right - pigtails make everything better. Its very flippy and fun, and I still need to get a good pic to share with everyone. And maybe a pic of the braid before I send it in, just for giggles.

Things in Warcraft are pissing me off, so I guess its a good thing I have to work four days this week so I get time away from being pissed off.

Speaking of being pissed, SOMEONE TELL ME WHO THIS GUY'S VOICE REMINDS ME OF. Specifically, the chorus. Because goddammit, he reminds me of someone and I can't for the life of me think of who it is other than "hurr, some other guy in some band". I keep seeing the video for this on MTV and every time I'm all "ARRG WHO IS THAT" and I can never think of who I'm reminded of. PLIS SEND HALP. (if the embed doesn't work, its Finger Eleven "Paralyzer". and no, thats not who I'm thinking of, hurr hurr.)
6 critiques|criticise me

[08 May 2008|04:55pm]
[ mood | BUNNY HERDING ]

I just chased a wild bunny out of my apartment. It took a swiffer, a box, a shoe and a lot of praying that there isn't bunny pee or poop hidden somewhere.

He got down on our patio (which has cement walls about 4 feet high) and couldn't get back up. I noticed because something kept hitting the door out there. So from the living room side I peeked out and saw ... BUNNY! and without thinking, opened the door to try and put a box out there for him to jump up on for freedom..

...and he ran in the open door. And into the kitchen, then under the couch, then in the corner, then back into the kitchen... all the while, I have the front door open and am trying to herd him out so he can bunnyhop up the stairs to freedom. Because of course he's not letting me near enough to touch him or anything. I tried herding him into a box so I could carry him outside, but he was having none of that.. so finally I poked near him with the handle end of a swiffer, startled him by tossing a shoe behind him, and herded him out the door that way.

Herding bunnies is harder than herding cats. So I'm praying for no bunny pee or poop anywhere.

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Shorn. [08 May 2008|03:26pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

23 inches of my hair is getting donated to Locks of Love.

My hair barely brushes my shoulders. I'm... I don't know how I feel about it. I wanted it shoulder-length and some layers, but... yeah. Its a lot shorter than I wanted, and I feel like crying. But its also a relief since I've never had hair this short before. So. Mixed emotions.

I'll see about getting some pics at some point maybe, if I can bring myself to share the disasterpiece.

6 critiques|criticise me

[07 Apr 2008|03:02pm]
Dan... you aren't alone in the world. Coldplay tops the list of bands people fall asleep to. Finally, proof!
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Snippets of note: [15 Mar 2008|05:36am]
1) My local Denny's is dead. This bodes not well for my late-night munchies, since I refuse IHOP.

2a) My car, which will be paid off this October, is worth about 1/3 of what I paid for it. This bodes well for when I go to trade it in.

2b) I found out I get excellent deals on new cars through my company. Distributor discount, wheeeee.. I could get the '08 model of my car for around $16k. Or around $12k if my car is worth as much as Kelley Blue Book says it is. So while I'm not shopping -now-, damn you Dennis for getting a new car and starting my brain thinking about continuing to owe money on a car for five more years. Though I'll probably give myself a few months of non-car-payment-woo to take care of things like credit cards.

3) I have to work St. Patricks Day. I am sad kitten.


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[05 Mar 2008|03:59pm]
Eddie Izzard is coming to the Uptown on May 31. Thats a Saturday, folks.

Floor pricing is $52, balcony is $42. I reaaaalllly want to go (floor seats!). Special pre-sale I can get in on if I order by March 9th. Anyone else?
4 critiques|criticise me

[29 Feb 2008|09:09am]
[ mood | tired + pissed = yay ]

Just got home from the courthouse. Took care of one of the two tickets I got at the end of January... $140 lighter in the bank account, but whatever. The second ticket I couldn't take care of. It was a non-insured ticket... which is ironic, since I'm staring at my goddamned insurance card right now. All because the fucking cop decided to be a dick and not accept my insurance card when he came back to my vehicle with the tickets. Because that's when I found it, somehow having worked its way into the manual for my car, which I also keep in the glove box. The officer told me I could take care of it without having to appear, just show proof of insurance with the ticket when I paid the speeding ticket.

Apparently that guy is a lying liar that fucking lies. I have to show in court. Next Thursday, 9am. I'm fucking thrilled, if you can't tell. I get to work all night Wednesday, then stay up to be at the courthouse. Probably by 8:15 since I'm fucking psycho like that, but whatever.

I'm exhausted, broke, and I'm just goddamned ready for life to get back to normal. I've never stood in front of a judge before, never even really been in a courthouse, so I'm a little bit freaking the fuck out. Okay, a lot freaking the fuck out. I have no attorney, I've never had to plan for anything like this.. and knowing that I have to show for something like this is just pissing me off.

What do you wear to traffic court, anyway?

...anyway. I guess things other than legal/finances are going okay. Well, except for the job thing, but I guess that's included in finances. I'm just fucking exhausted right now and want to sleep for a year and a half.

6 critiques|criticise me

[23 Feb 2008|02:00am]
Tagged by Rob. Thanks. :P Though this kind of pisses me off because I don't know what happened to the big binder with all my character sheets and stories in it, so I'm trying to remember my favoriter RPG characters and... yah, about that. I'm reeaallly bad at remembering my character's last name.

There will be a real post someday.

1. Choose a few of your own characters.
2. Make them answer the following questions.
3. Feel free to go ahead and add some questions yourself!!
4. Then tag three people.

Answers here. Clickyclick.Collapse )
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[07 Feb 2008|07:50am]
[ mood | silly ]

So after not wanting to turn over at all this week, this morning the finicky little bitch decided to prove me wrong and roared right into action.

She is getting a spanking and taken to the doctor this afternoon. Shameless hussy. She's probably just jealous that I've been spending more time with Jon's car than with her. That's what she GETS. Moe and I are totally bonding. He flicks his wipers at me in response to my comments and questions. That's love right there, baby. Seraphim NEVER converses with me on our drives home together.

...seriously, though, I'm glad it seems to be something relatively minor.

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[03 Feb 2008|06:16am]
[ mood | better than bad ]

First off, I'm in a little better of a frame of mind today. Crawled into bed yesterday morning, inadvertently waking Jon up in the process, and proceeded to cry on him for a while. Ended up sleeping for a full eight, and then laid in bed for another two hours out of a sheer lack of wanting to get up and deal with life. I was duly reminded why I hate crying my eyes out (after two hours of crying, and eight of sleeping, I woke up looking like UTTER HELL). Then we hung out with our peeps last night, celebrated Shawna's birthday a day early, and I generally enjoyed the feeling of my worries dissipating a little at a time. Being around people who truly care helps, I think.

Then, about half an hour ago, I call my mother. Now, most people don't know the dynamic I have with my parents. I love my parents, but we aren't close. Granted, there were times when I was barely on speaking terms with my father, but I digress. I talk to them a few times a month, whenever we manage to catch each other, and I know they care and all, but conversations with them are like... conversations with people who you know, you like, but have absolutely nothing in common with. We don't really connect, and I honestly have never been able to figure out exactly when or why this happened.

But still, you would THINK that if something major were to happen - like, say, my father having surgery - I would be informed. Well, I was. This morning. At least a week after the surgery. It was minor, I suppose, surgery on his arm that he's going through physical therapy for... but I am just now finding out?

Anyway, the surgery means any financial assistance for my car is thrown out the window. I wasn't really expecting monetary help, anyway, because... well, I don't ask my parents for money. I haven't for years.

So I'm back to being at a loss for what exactly to do. My mother suggested trying a jump-start to see if the car will at least turn over. After that, who knows. I'm just glad Jon's letting me take his car to work tonight. Selfish me, I know. I worry that I depend on him too much for things.

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I go from nothing, to too much. [02 Feb 2008|05:42am]
[ mood | crappy ]

Sorry for cluttering the flist, but my mind just will not shut off. I don't know why. Things just keep snowballing in my mind and I don't know wtf is going on. I start thinking about the money problems, and it just keeps going and going to every little detail of my life that I hate. I need a new job. I hate my car. I hate myself, sometimes. The only constant in my life that I love beyond anything else is Jon, which is the way it should be, I suppose. But I just keep dredging up all the old hurts and all the bad things I've ever had happen in my life, and I'm having my own little pathetic pity party over here.

All because of my -car-. Well, that's the trigger, anyway. I think a lot of things have just been welling up for so long that it just hit a breaking point. I didn't even think things were so bad. I've been -happy-. Granted, a lot of that has been because of Jon.

And now, in my head, I just suddenly get this image of stressing Jon the fuck out because he's the nucleus of my happy. Great.

I think I'm going to go try to force myself into unconsciousness. Wish me luck. It'll benefit you, too - you won't see any more of these stereotypically LJ-esque posts if I'm unconscious.

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Addendum. [02 Feb 2008|05:16am]
Crying doesn't help, in the long run. Fuck catharsis. My nose/throat feel like they want to jump out of my body from hurting so badly. I wish I were tired enough for sleep.
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Someone shoot me in the head, please. [02 Feb 2008|04:05am]
[ mood | depressed ]

It's been a hell of a month.

Work drama at the beginning of January, which stressed me out. Jon leaving for two weeks, which made me mopey. Jon coming back and getting sick, and then me getting a little teensy bit sick. I got a speeding ticket the other day, for the first time in five years. And then earlier tonight, I go to get in my car to go to the bank to deposit Jon's half of bills via ATM, and my car won't start. It sounds like it wants to catch, but isn't. So. I dunno whats going on with that, but I'll try it after I wake up later and see if it miraculously starts. I'm not holding my breath.

If its a serious issue, I don't have the money to fix it. Hell, budgeting the ticket is hard enough, and I don't know if I'll even be able to cover that. If I can't fix my car, I don't know how I'm going to get to and from work. Which means I won't get paid money. Which will just worsen the cycle. And if its serious, theres no way I can swing dinner tomorrow night with everyone. Money issues suck.

I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting, but right now I just want to curl up and vent to someone and cry, and all I have is LJ since its four in the morning and 99% of the people I know are sleeping like normal, sane people.

Note to self: go to the bank tomorrow and deposit that check, goddammit.
Secondary note to self: stop punching things out of frustration and self-loathing. Your knuckles hurt.

This month is a nightmare month. One big, long, living nightmare that I want to pinch myself out of.

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[09 Jan 2008|03:39pm]
[ mood | geeky ]

If you were my PSP charger, where would you be?

(seriously, I need to figure out where the eff I put it) :(

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[07 Jan 2008|01:39am]
I was talking to Dan about this earlier today, and said he needed to see it since he hadn't. So I figured, if anyone else hasn't seen Obama's victory speech after the Iowa caucuses, it's... good.

So here it is, Dan! And anyone else. :D Thank you, Youtube.

I know, its a couple days late, but whatever. I've had other Things on my mind. Capitalized for importance. :)
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[06 Jan 2008|09:40am]
[ mood | melancholy ]

Jon left for upstate NY today, visiting the family/friends. I stay here, lonely, trying to remember what its like to inhabit a 2-br apartment by myself and failing miserably.

Dennis picked him up at 8:30 to take him to the airport since I worked last night and need sleep. Fast forward about 20 mins, and Dennis' car overheats, prompting me to throw clothing back on to meet them at the gas station, only to have Dennis bring coolant for his car into the picture. So Dennis has Jon again, and they're on their way. Again. Hopefully they make it to the airport. ><

And then I came home and threw up for 20 minutes. I feel like utter crap now, and have to wake up by 5:30 to wow-raid. This bodes not well.

Jon's been gone barely an hour, and already the apartment feels too big and lonely without him. Two weeks of feeling this and not having my daily snuggles/hugs/kisses. Its going to kill me.

So odd how someone can fill your life so completely without you realizing just how full they make it. Take them away, and it feels like a 10-watt bulb trying to make up for the spotlight they took with them.

Alternately, it feels like the spotlight is turned back on me, showing all my faults and weaknesses, the little cracks that Jon caulks together and makes invisible.

I'm a drippy sap. I'm sorry.

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