Once upon a time there was a girl with sunshine in her smiles and flowers in her hair. Her life was rainbows and daisies, perfection and grace evident in every movement and every word. Soft-spoken but self-confident, purity and piousness filled her heart to overflowing. Her childhood was out of a storybook, her parents spoiled her, her grades were excellent, she fell in love and married young, never worried about having friends or a good job, and never wanted for anything she set her mind upon.
Too bad I am not, nor do I know, this girl.
Instead, picture a late-twenty-something female with hesitancy in her smile and snarls in her hair. Her life is chock full of issues, drama, phobias and bad karma. Piousness and purity aren't even in her vocabulary. Delving far enough into this journal will tell you all you need to know of her childhood and how great it wasn't, her money issues and how there's still a lot she's wanting for, her job and how it sucks, and the ups and downs of life as a suburban oddity.
Being neither emo nor goth, I'm unlike 90% of the LiveJournal community. I have my sad-panda moments, but there isn't a mold made that I fit into perfectly. I'm not knowledgeable enough to be a computer nerd, not talented enough to be artsy, not all-watching enough to be an otaku, and not educated enough to be a true professional.
Instead, I'm happy to merely be alive, living in suburban Kansas City, expecting my boyfriend of over two years to be moving in with me soon, and slaving to corporate America. I watch anime and read manga, I love music, I dabble in writing and sometimes pretend I can draw. I've tried, unsuccessfully, to teach myself Japanese. I am far too addicted to my computer and World of Warcraft. Baking calms my nerves. Neil Gaiman, Guy Gavriel Kay, Terry Pratchett, Mercedes Lackey and Morgan Llewelyn are like gods to me. My apartment is a mess, but it only mirrors the mess of my psyche. I fear the unknown of life far more than I've ever feared death, and for every moment I fool myself into thinking I'm a complex person, I spend five moments kicking myself for being simple.
Subtlety is a virtue, but no one has ever confused me for being virtuous.